I just have to VENT. In public.
I'm trying to deal with a Wall of Won't. Wall pretends to be a Wall of Can't but it is not. Wall is a master manipulator that uses flattery, feigned co-operation, 'promises', delay, emotional blow-ups, distance, unreachability, lies and massive amounts of excuses and obfuscation to serve its own selfish interests. Wall manages to get things done only when the outcome is something WALL wants to happen (benefiting Wall). Otherwise, it's as dense and inpenetrable as a system of underground bunkers and tunnels. Wall will drive you into fits of rage and then act all hurt like it was Wall that has just been attacked so innocently.
Unfortunatly I cannot just give Wall the finger and get Wall out of my life for good (at least in this role). That is what I would do to a person who treated me this way and who was such a fucking drain on my spirit, attitude and energy over and over and over and over again. Wall sits (literally, in a way) on assets that belong to me and another person. The assets are large enough to mean something significant to our lives, but not large enough to be out of jeopardy of being consumed by legal fees if things have to go to court. Yet I am sooooooo close to taking that step over the most recent issue (not described here) and the sum total of the aggrivation dealing with Wall has produced in me over the years.
Here are some examples on minor things that shows what dealing with Wall is like:
Problem - Wall works hours that makes it hard for Wall to be in contact with people like attorneys and accountants.
Proposed Solution - get a pay-as-you-go cell phone and call from work during lunch and breaks - receive their calls into voice mail.
How it Goes:
Wall - what one should I get?
Me - get any one, just make sure it has a voice mailbox and one where you can program in the phone numbers
Wall - I want to know the best deals, can you research that for me
Me - get T-Mobile, I already researched it, that's why that is what I got for myself
Wall - but I've heard that Cingular has some deals out now
Me - then get Cingular
Wall - could you research it for me
Me - no. It's not worth my time; even if there was a price difference, they're all competitive so the difference will be exremely small. It isn't worth either of our time. You need a cell phone NOW. Just go to the Mall and get one.
We had versions of this conversation for a good YEAR before Wall got a cell phone. Then, within a month Wall lost it. (Then found it; but that was still such a frustrating hassle.)
Problem - Financial statements are not being prepared according to requirements.
Solution - Manage the information on a Works spreadsheet. (I offer to walk her through the set-up.)
How it goes:
Wall - I can't
Me - why not?
Wall - my computer keeps crashing or freezing up when I try to do stuff
Me - (lots of time over the phone having her check things out) - Your hard drive is too full and your system might need to see a computer doctor due to corruption in the Op Sys. You should delete all music from your HD and then get it to the computer doctor.
Wall - but there are financial papers on the computer
Me - then we'll burn them into a disk for storage
Wall - I can't get the disk burning software to burn - keeps locking up
Me - (after more evaluation) - buy an external HD and we'll transfer it
Wall - research it for me
Me - get the one I've got so I will be able to help you better
Wall - (after months of delay) gets a different vendor's HD
(months of delay before Wall gets time to have me walk Wall through the set-up; turns out Wall bought a backup drive, not a storage drive and it wasn't what was needed or even useful).
[Months pass and we go through the above over and over in a loop where Wall tells me to send the link for the HD so Wall can order it, I e-mail the link, nothing happens. Finally Wall does order and receive the HD]
Wall - I want to get that HD set up with you soon.
Me - anytime; it should only take a few minutes and then another few minutes to train you to drag files to the drive for storage. It's VERY SIMPLE.
Wall - well I can't do it this weekend ... maybe next weekend we could take some time.
Me - that would be fine, call anytime.
Current status - Wall has had the proper HD for about a year and it is still in its box. We have had this last 'loop' of a conversation about getting time together to set up the HD about 8 - 10 times since then, all with the same frustrating outcome, no action.
These are just examples of how relatively inconsequential issues go between us. In the meantime Wall blames Wall's lack of progress on not being able to get into contact with people and not being able to use the computer to manage the financial elements.
Stick a fork in me, my patience is DONE.
